Ugh.

It's currently 2:01 PM. I woke up almost an hour ago after staying up talking to Roxanne until 6 in the morning. She needed it, she has enough crap in her life. It's the absolute least I can do for after all she's done for me.

The problem lays in the after effects.

I'm a heavy sleeper she tells me all the time. I slept through my alarm, slept through text messages, slept through my sister calling me. Woke up at 12:30 PM.

Realized I had missed my 9 am biology class and noon world history class.

And then I realized the chemistry homework I had stopped doing last night to call Roxanne, was still unfinished. If you read the first blog, you'd know that my chem homework is online.

Grades closed at 12:01 PM.

I slammed my fists into the desk, no one was in the room. As if I wasn't on the verge of failing all of my classes right now, I missed two classes and bombed a homework assignment.

This is where I talked to Bruce, and like I have been for the past few days, spilled my guts out to the poor guy.

Fuck society. Fuck the asshole who thought it would be a good idea to make it mandatory for kids to go to college in order to get a decently paying job. I'm tired of jumping through hoops set on fire for people. I have to play their game, in order to do what I want. Frankly, I'm tired.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e50YBu14j3U&feature=channel_page

Watch and nod in agreement.

All I want to do is play my bass. God I love that thing.
I want to learn to play my keyboard, I want to learn to play my guitar. I want to learn to play Tim's drums. I want to play music, I love it so much. Maybe it's time I start studying it.

All I want to do is play football. Or any other sport. Roxanne tells me she's a kid at heart, well so am I. She's the throwing sand and blowing bubbles type, I'm the run around forever type. I'm so glad I signed up for my football league. It's such a refreshing break at the end of the week. Being part of a team again, running around, catching a ball being thrown at you at God knows what speed. Lining up in the turf with the sun beating down on your neck, looking the man across from you dead in the eye, and seeing who was better, even for just a single play.

All I want to do is spend time with Roxanne.
This doesn't need much explaining. I love her so much. It's to the point right now where I can't even express it in words.

I've decided on drugs and my life. For no reason at all, I started reading about the Red Hot Chili Peppers band members today. For obvious reasons, I look up to Flea and his musical talent. Spent a good chunk of time reading about his personal life, battles with drugs. Stuff I had already known.

And then I started reading about the guitarist, John Frusciante. At the age of 18, he earned himself the lead guitarist role in the band. After learning Flea was "stoned out of his mind" every show, he set his mind on being a junkie. John later did heroin and cocaine, sobered up, started eating some greens and did yoga. He doesn't regret the drugs, and credits them to helping him "find himself".

Something I have yet to do.

But I certainly do not need drugs to do that. It is without a doubt that drugs and drug users are stigmatized by society unfairly, in the same way I was stereotyped growing up. That does not entitle me to become one of them, either. Granted I'm a smart guy, and would never abuse drugs, I do not need them.

I'm going to do yoga just for the hell of it, not because I need to clean up my act.

I could keep going on, but I've ranted enough. I always let myself do this...

Music: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Blood Sugar Sex Magik (the whole album)
Current mood: ...Need to be productive
Food for thought: "Do what you love, anything else is just fooling yourself."

Off day

lol today.

Ended up sleeping through my alarm clock and missing breakfast. Went to the food court to get some coffee and food right before class, spilled coffee all over the floor trying to put the lid on. Then sat down to eat and read, had my phone slide out of my pocket. Someone found it and brought it to the library for me to pick up, thankfully.

Think I'm just going to not move from my desk all day.

Our band finished our first song last night. We're working on structuring the lyrics now and practicing our terrible voices while looking for a real singer.

In a music no-man's-land right now, just listening to random songs off my Windows Media Player. Nothing really catchy.

Music: Guns n' Roses - Sweet Child of Mine
Current mood: Neutral
Food for thought: "Never follow the main stream."

Updateroni

Haven't updated blog in awhile. Mmm... failed recent biology test after waiting last second to study. In the process of establishing a work habit, involving doing a lot of work when I don't want to do it. The thought of choosing my major has crossed my mind recently. Currently in the pre-healthy department of advising, thinking about settling on an exercise science major, with my ideal job being a medical trainer for an athetlelic team.

Football started last Friday. Missed four snaps, caught two balls. Enjoyable game, sore the next morning. Quarterback checked up on me after, told me not worry about mistakes. I appreciated that.

Joined my guitarist in playing in his band. Really committed, can see us going places quickly. Drummer just started playing recently, exceptionally good. Making me the old veteran, playing bass for 9 years. After practice, we have a tendency to stay up until 5 in the morning talking. Convinced to start a journal and carry it with me everywhere, writing important thoughts within it.

Signed a year lease on a house with 5 other guys a month ago. Moving in during June. School should be loaning me a considerable amount of money. House is actually much cheaper than dorms, but I'll be loaning the same amount. Math boils down to 830 dollars a month, minus 300 for rent, possible 50 for cable and internet divided 6 ways, 2 to 300 for car payments, and the rest going towards food. Will be saving money because I won't be enrolled in a meal plan, or using the school health insurance.

Nothing else to dicuss... rant has gone on long enough.

Music: Jimi Hendrix - All Along the Watchtower
Current mood: Ready for work
Food for thought: "Maximize your resources, but minimize your weaknesses."

♥

Go time.

I haven't been on here in awhile. I'll try to keep this brief, probably not.

Life is great. Probably have two or three majors things that have happened that are worth mentioning in blog form.

Current news on my mind: Just signed a 12 month lease on an apartment near campus. I'll be moving out of my dormitories in May, and into the 7 bedroom, 2.5 bathroom house in June. I am super duper (for lack of a better word) excited.

More later. Homework and reading now.

Music: Explosions in the Sky - Your Hand in Mine
Current mood: Anxious
Food for thought: "I think, therefore I am. But... who am I?"